By James Duncan (with thanks and apologies to Edward Lear)

The Owl and the Pussycat, lacking in goods
Thought that honey (and money) grew on trees in the woods
Impatient for fortune, blind with devotion,
They agreed on an ominous, dangerous notion.

Yes Feline and Fowl were set for a mission
Not feeling regret or a hint of contrition.
They were fixing to join the criminal ranks
By stealing the assets of Piggery Bank.

On a wing and a paw they hiked through the woods
Searching for clues to uncover the goods.
But something peculiar arrested their plan
In the form of a spindly, spidery man.

“My friends, you must wait ‘til it’s inkily dark
If you wish to find riches in Necklace Park.
I have maps and instructions in my personal diary
That I hid by the footbridge near Finchdale’s olde Priory.”

“Oy, give us the map and we’ll spot you a tot”
For the Owl and the ‘Cat thought that man could be bought.
But he offered them wisdom as old as the elves.
“We all must make maps of the park for ourselves”

“But since you know nothing of anything here
Let me offer advice for those near and/or dear
If you stop looking I am sure you will find
The thing that is hidden from those who are blind.”

“So, take a left at the Bridge, climb the stile to nowhere
Knock on the door of the Count once you’re there.
Then spin in your tracks with a sideways rotation
And do your ablutions at Pigeon Plantation.”

“Now Croxdale Walk is a ten mile run
So drink from the Viaduct, and snooze in the sun
Then follow the ravens and rooks to Crook Hall
At Framwellgate Bridge take great care or you’ll fall.”

“Once you are there you must dig with a trowel…”
“Enough” said the Pussycat nodding at Owl.
“This chatter disturbs the heavenly night
Let’s abandon our plan and swim in the moonlight.”

Now Necklace Park is their favourite site
When dawn becomes morning, and dusk becomes night.
Under Sunderkind Bridge they pull on their boots
And are soon on their way with a mew and a hoot.